Category Archives: Snark

Keiser Report: Ho, Ho, Freaking Ho!

Max and Stacy bring us a Christmas special, replete with punk poetry, high dudgeon, and existential absurdity. Come for the coat, stay for the laughs:

RT’s program notes:

In this episode, Max Keiser first talks to punk poet John Cooper Clarke about Who Stole Bongo’s Trousers, private equity rock stars, the music business and onesies as the next big thing in fashion. In the second half, Max is joined by Stacy to talk about the ‘poverty barons’ financed by the British taxpayer.

EuroWatch: Meetings, grumbles, Greece, more

Lots of meetings going on, but we focus on two — one done and one coming. Then there’s the Spailout, with the formal plea now scheduled for Monday, and more new from Greece, including more on the memorandum, health afflictions of the new cabinet [and its peculiar configuration], power shutoffs, jobless lawyers, and more.

We’ve got Qataris buying up France, a death knell for the Tobin Tax, the EU’s reluctance to introduce democratic reforms, and an eagerness to shill for Uncle Sam’s spies.

But we’ll open with the meetings.

Hollande prepares to huddle with Lagarde

François Hollande’s sitting on the political equivalent of a full house, with the National Assembly and Senate now controlled by his own Socialist [sic] party.

But the ersatz socialist is paying court to the embodiment of finance capital, the International Monetary Fund, the architects of austerity.

From Nadya Masidlover of Dow Jones Newswires:

French President Francois Hollande is set to meet European Central Bank President Mario Draghi Monday in Paris, days before the EU summit to be held on June 28 and 29, amidst the ongoing euro-zone crisis.

Earlier this week, Mr. Hollande said at a press conference in Los Cabos, Mexico, that talks would be held with the ECB, “in complete respect of its independence”, and underlined that the ECB could continue to play a part in the resolution of the euro-zone crisis.

The meeting between the French head of state and the ECB president will intervene days after leaders of the euro zone’s four biggest economies renewed calls for firmer political collaboration, as they met for a presummit meeting in Rome on Friday.

Merkel’s adamant: No cash without discipline

She’s even earned an Italian nickname, Mrs. No.

And only virtue will bring rewards.

From Ambrose Evans-Pritchard of the London Telegraph:

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has shot down calls for full mobilisation of the eurozone’s bail-out funds to halt the raging bond crisis in Spain and Italy, ignoring unprecedented pleas for action from the International Monetary Fund.

“Each country wants to help but if I am going to call on taxpayers in Germany, I must have guarantees that all is under control. Responsibility and control go hand in hand,” she said after a crucial summit of the eurozone’s Big Four powers in Rome.

Mrs Merkel – or La Signora No in Italy – doused hopes of a break-through on proposals by the “Latin Bloc” leaders of Italy, France, and Spain to deploy the funds (EFSF and ESM) to cap the bond yields of “virtuous” countries vulnerable to contagion, or to recapitalize banks directly to take the strain off sovereign states.

“If I give money straight to Spanish banks, I can’t control what they do. That is how the treaties are written,” she said, before racing off to Danzig to tonight for Euro 2012 quarter final between Greece and German.

Read the rest.

The Iron Chancellor repeats her mantra

While Merkel’s saying Nein! Nein! Nein! To pouring more cash onto the Southern fire, she’s still issuing her usual clarion call for less national sovereignty and all power to Brussels.

And she’s getting a bit perturbed with that French fellow.

From Deutsche Welle:

Speaking after the 100-minute talks in the Villa Madama overlooking the Italian capital, German Chancellor Angela Merkel endorsed the growth packet, calling it “the right signal.”

“The lesson of this crisis is more Europe, not less Europe,” Merkel said.

“We need to work closer together politically, especially in the eurozone. Whoever has a common currency must also have coherent policies. That is also a lesson from the last two years,” Merkel went on.


Merkel has insisted that members of the 17-nation currency union must transfer control over national budget and economic policies to Brussels before Germany would consider common debt issuance.

In an apparent challenge to the chancellor, however, [French President François] Hollande said: “I consider eurobonds to be an option … but not in 10 years. There can be no transfer of sovereignty if there is not an improvement in solidarity.”

Read the rest.

Reminds us of the punchline to that old joke: “We’ve established what you are, just not your price.”

The Spailout request is on its way

Yet another confirmation that the inevitable is imminent.

From MarketWatch:

The Spanish Finance Minister Luis de Guindos confirmed on Friday that Spain will formally request aid for its banks on Monday. Speaking at a meeting of finance ministers in Luxembourg, de Guindos said that the conditions attached to the request, which will take place in a letter just two paragraphs long, would be ready by July 9. Late Thursday, an independent audit of Spain’s banking sector concluded that, under a worse-case scenario, Spain could need as much as $80 billion to recapitalize its banks.

Do Greeks believe in omens these days?

Because if they do, things aren’t looking too good for the coalition.

No sooner does New Democracy’s Antonis Samaras achieve the prime ministerial post than he winds up in the hospital.

And then he’s followed by his all-important finance minister, even before the poor schlub could take the oath of office.

Maybe it’s time for trip to the Oracle of Delphi? Once he’s discharged, that is.

From Keep Talking Greece:

Greek Prime Minister Antonis Samaras successfully underwent an eye operation on Saturday morning in Athens. Ophthalmology surgeons at public hospital Attikon repaired the retinal detachment problem in an operation that lasted about two hours.

A statement by the surgeons said that Samaras’s eye problem was serious and that he has to be under medical surveillance and a regular measurement of his right eye blood pressure for some time.

Samaras is expected ot stay in the hospital at least until Sunday.

Read the rest.

More on the second patient, Finance Minister Vassilis Rapanos, from Athens News:

The incoming finance minister was rushed to hospital on Friday Continue reading

Quote of the day: Ah, that wonderful pepper spray

Turns out is a purveyor of those industrial-sized cans of pepper spray used by the likes of UC Davis Police Lt. John Pike. And now, it seems, irreverent folks have taken to posting snarky product reviews on Amazon’s sales page, including this one, under the name “John Pike”:

When I wish to engage in chemical warfare against unarmed civilians, Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 is my go-to weapon. It makes me feel good to read that it’s a “defensive” weapon, and I intend to use that in my defense when my assault case goes to trial. In the meantime, when I suit up in body armor, helmet and boots to go evict 19-year-old girls from Constitutionally-protected gatherings, it makes me feel safer to have DT 56895 MK-9 in hand. Highly recommended for all aspiring tyrants!

Headline of the day: The Stepford candidates?

Now perhaps we have an explanation for certain automaton-like high profile presidential candidates and governors? From the Winston-Salem Journal:

Research creates engineered sphincters

Best. Keiser. Report. Ever! Outrage as high art

No guest this time. Just 30 minutes of acid-edged high dudgeon from America’s best stand-up economist and sidekick Stacy Herbert.

There’s the Chinese kid who sold his kidney for an iPad, the threat of global famine, and more. But it’s mostly about banksters and their pals in government, who are now engaged in the final stage of the greatest robbery in history.

Headline of the day: To be or not to be?

From a post at Mondoweiss: Will Assange go the way of Ruby or Dreyfus?

Will Assange go the way of Ruby or Dreyfus?

Headline of the day: Feel-good politics goes DC

From atop an essay by Mark Ames at The Exiled on Saturday’s Comedy Central Hype-on-the-Mall:


Wall Street Journal: Kill fed school lunch aid

Of course the Journal‘s have never been a hotbed of support for programs designed to aid people who can’t afford to subscribe to the Journal, so opposing school lunch subsidies seems like a natural fit for pages where John Galt and his dollar-signed ciggies would feel right at home.

But what makes this latest clarion call of capitalism hit the heights of absurdity is the rationale, as reported by the folks over at Lean Left:

The Wall Street Journal today literally proposes ending the subsidized school lunch program for low-income kids in order to force them into Depression-style starvation, on grounds that this will solve the obesity epidemic.


They aren’t joking. This is how conservatives think.

There simply aren’t words for how stupid, vicious, and inhuman they are. Oh, and remember – the WSJ editors are the respectable conservatives.

We’re surprised the Journal‘s neoliberals missed another great selling point: Once the young women amongst the students have starved down to stick-like dimensions, they’ll have fabulous futures as fashion models!

They can mark their resumes NSN for No Photoshopping Needed.

esnl’s first and only [ahem] Mel Gibson post

Poor ol’ Mel. He just can’t learn to keep his mouth shut.

First, here’s Mr. Fish‘s take on the Melster, appropriately titled ‘Last Temptation of TMZ.’

And from Welcome Back to Potterville, “Mel Gibson’s Advice for the Lovelorn” is a slightly more humorous but decidedly NSFW take on the former Boy Wonder from Down Under [even though he was born in California].

My reason for posting anything at all about this will become apparent in the final post in the Polanski series, which will be up later today.

Headline of the day: Major occupational fail

From the Los Angeles Times, evidence that one professional ain’t so hot at their job.

Northridge psychic robbed

From the ‘Screw ’em, they’re Ay-rabs’ dept.

Two Christians found themselves the target of rage from protesters demonstrating against the planned mosque to be built on New York’s “Ground Zero” site. Got so bad cops had to come to the rescue, even though the pair had come to side with the very folks attacking them. Why all the animus despite the shared cause? Well. . .seems the two guys were Arabs, as Mike Kelly of the Bergen County [NJ] Record reports.

At one point, a portion of the crowd menacingly surrounded two Egyptian men who were speaking Arabic and were thought to be Muslims.

“Go home,” several shouted from the crowd.

“Get out,” others shouted.

In fact, the two men – Joseph Nassralla and Karam El Masry — were not Muslims at all. They turned out to be Egyptian Coptic Christians who work for a California-based Christian satellite TV station called “The Way.” Both said they had come to protest the mosque.

“I’m a Christian,” Nassralla shouted to the crowd, his eyes bulging and beads of sweat rolling down his face.

But it was no use. The protesters had become so angry at what they thought were Muslims that New York City police officers had to rush in and pull Nassralla and El Masry to safety.

“I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward.

Makes ya proud to be an Ah-murkin, don’t it?