For Donald Trump, size really, really matters


As we promised earlier, in light of The Donald’s gross exaggeration of the size of his inaugural audience and his fury at the press for pointing out his prevarication, here’s a look at that other issue of magnitude, one that grabbed the public’s attention during the primary campaign.

For, anything concern his person or his affairs must always be the Biggest, Grandest, Most Fabuolous, and Tremendous. . .UUGE!

And to hint other wise is an act of lese majestie.

Rubio tries the hands-on approach

From CBS, reported on Leap Year Day 2016:

Marco Rubio escalated his slate of recent attacks on Donald Trump’s looks Sunday, telling supporters at an event Sunday night that Trump can’t be trusted because he has “small hands.”

He was responding to Trump’s habit of calling him “Little Marco.” And while Rubio freely admitted he’s the shorter one of the two, he said he was baffled by the size of Trump’s hands.

“He’s like 6’2’’ which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2″. Have you seen his hands?” Rubio said during a rally in Roanoke, Virgina. “You know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them. You can’t trust them.”

Rubio’s insult appears to stem from an argument between Trump and Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter. Carter once called Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian” in an article in Spy magazine.

And The Donald responds

Five days later, CNN reported the response in a story headlined Donald Trump defends size of his penis:

Donald Trump assured American voters Thursday night that despite what Marco Rubio had suggested, there was “no problem” with the size of his hands — or anything else.

“Look at those hands, are they small hands?” the front-runner for the GOP presidential nomination said, raising them for viewers to see. “And, he referred to my hands — ‘if they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

Rubio in recent days revived a decades-old old insult, mocking Trump for having relatively slight hands.

“He’s always calling me Little Marco. And I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6’2, which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2,” Rubio said in Virginia on Sunday. “And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust them.”

The New York billionaire has heard similar comments about his hands or, more precisely, his fingers, for years.

History behind the dick-measuring contest

A bit of revealing background from the Atlantic Monthly written back in June 2016:

Author and radio host Kurt Andersen, who—along with Graydon Carter—came up with the first iteration of this epithet, short fingered vulgarian, offered this explanation for its staying power: “There are literally a thousand things we could say about Trump. The attraction of talking about his short fingers is that it’s just this one stupid thing that everyone can get around. It’s just the tip of the iceberg, sort of like, Let’s just focus on this because it makes him [respond] and he hates it. You could say he doesn’t understand NATO, but he doesn’t care that he doesn’t understand NATO! At least he cares about this.”

For the record, Andersen is adamant that it’s Trump’s short fingers—and not his ostensibly small hands—that were always the intended object of derision. “And it never, ever had anything to do with the size of his dick,” says Andersen. “It was just literally just, ‘Look, the guy has short fingers!’ Rubio and Trump turned it into a genital-measuring-stick thing.”

Apart from the ease with which Trump can be frothed into a foam of discontent via the mere mention of his hand/finger-length ratio, the epithet is revealing mostly because it demonstrates how humiliation lies at the core of Trump’s campaign.

And, yes, his fingers really are shorties

Finally, via Vanity Fair, the truth the grasping digits in question:

The Hollywood Reporter obtained a verified copy of Trump’s handprint, cast from his own hands by the expert sculptors at Madame Tussauds. The famed waxworks museum had measured Trump for a life-sized sculpture, which was removed from their New York City location in 2011. But Trump’s handprint itself, which was cast in bronze, has for the entirety of the presidential election been displayed prominently in front of the Tussauds museum in Times Square.

Their official discovery: measured from wrist to the tip of his middle finger, Trump’s hands are 7.25 inches in length.

According to several scientific studies, this is a definitively below-average hand length for a man, especially for his height of 6 feet 2 inches. A 1980 study commissioned by the U.S. Army indicates that Trump’s hand length of 7.25 inches hovers around the 25th percentile of hand length among military men. A meta-analysis of studies from the Georgia Tech Research Institute places Trump’s hands below the 50th percentile. And the 1988 Anthropomorphic Survey of U.S. Personnel, used frequently by the Ergonomic Center of North Carolina, places Trump’s hands at the 15th percentile. Trump is, medically speaking, short-fingered.

And that’s why we call him Littlefingers.

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3 responses to “For Donald Trump, size really, really matters

  1. Pingback: Graphic Representation: TrumpTruth™ travails | eats shoots 'n leaves

  2. I wonder if this speaks to the root of a sort of Napoleon Complex? Because that would explain a lot…

  3. Ultimately, the Donald is a great BS artist. It has worked in business. It won’t work as President. He’ll be called to back up his crap with facts.

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