Redundant? Groucho asks the relevant question

From an episode of What’s My Line?:

BFTP: How Can You Be in Two Places at Once?

BFTP = Blast From The Past — in this case, the 1969 classic comedy album from The Firesign Theater: How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You’re Not Anywhere at All.

You’ll laugh! You’ll cry! And a Good Time Will be Had by All!

Enjoy. . .

Just a reminder: George Carlin got it right

Though it’s a decade old, Carlin’s rant is as timely as ever, now that the Usual Suspects are pushing for war on Syria:

Headline of the day: Wingnuts bemusedly bugged

From International Business Times:

Far-Right Extremists Chased Through London by Women Dressed as Badgers

Yet another tempestuous [terrorist] teapot

First it was the hilariously unintentionally inappropriate  JC Penney’s “Hitler teapot.”

Now, from SUCK UK, it’s the intentionally offensive Terrorist Teapot. complete with black balaclava cozy!

And it’s yours for a mere £25!

But there are other teapots some folks would perhaps consider even more offensive. . .

And then, of course, there’s this.

[NOTE: We posted this a few minutes ago, but WordPress ate it. The first two blogger "likes" on the Mr. Fish cartoon below were originally appended to the vanish ed post. How it happened, we haven't the foggiest.]

H/T to Laughing Squid!

Tempest in a teapot, or a Penney’s brew-ha-ha

Comparative imagery via the London Telegraph, which reports that the likeness of the JC Penney’s teapot to a certain German of some disrepute has set the Internet ablaze:

Maybe Penney’s would be better off with a teapot resembling, well, JC.

On the other hand, Gawker points to another teapot that bears an even stronger resemblance to the moustachioed one.

Ze Frank: Sad Cat Diary

Which he describes as “The diary of sad cats everywhere “

From his vlog:

Finally: ‘The First Honest Cable Company’

From ExtremelyDecentFilms via Corrente:

Now there’s an effective anti-smoking ad!

Effectively hilarious, that is. From the Canadian Ministry of Health:

UPDATE: When we saw the words “social farting,” our first thought was this scene from Mel Brooks’ immortal Blazing Saddles:

Clarke and Dawe: Hanseatic League. Semi finals.

Australian comedians John Clarke and Brian Dawe [previously] explain some of the history of the ins and outs of today’s today’s European political game:

Headline and Quote of the day II: Another draft?

From the Hartford [Connecticut] Advocate:

Former Hartford Advocate Writer Brews Unemployed Reporter Porter

From the accompanying story by still-employed Advocate reporter Michael Hamad about the post-newsroom career of Jon Campbell:

“Porter style beers were first popularized in the nineteenth century by merchant sailors and manual dock laborers,” the label reads. “Unemployed Reporter is crafted in the same tradition, honoring a profession likewise doomed to decline and irrelevance.”

For this new class of “expendables,” the label goes on, “we’ve included chocolate and roasted barley malts that are as dark and bitter as the future of American journalism, and a high alcohol content designed to numb the pain of a slow, inexorable march toward obsolescence. While Unemployed Reporter is especially delicious as a breakfast beer, it’s still smooth enough to be enjoyed all day, every day. And let’s be honest: what else do you have going on?”

When you care enough to send the furry beast

We dispatched an image plucked from the Web [sadly, a lost link] to our elder daughter, the foremost feline fancier among our progeny:

In response, one of her own felines composed a poignant response which we pass on to you:

Starving.
Why are they asleep?
I jump across their bodies.
I bite their fingers.
I cry my pain into their tiny ears.
IT IS 5:30 WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?
At last, the man wakes.
Food?
He opens the door and I run to my bowl.
Only to hear him close the door behind me.
Alas.
Only I know true pain.

The Austerity Allstars: Bugger the Bankers!

A wonderful, lively song from Britain designed to brighten up your day, even if, like esnl, you’re headed off for the first round of chemo.

You’ll find the lyrics here.

Warner Brothers breakdowns: Bloopers noir

Though they’re called bloopers today, the flubs and falls of actors were once known as breakdowns, in part because of the reactions of others on the set.

So for film buffs, here’s a collection of cinematic outtakes from Warner Brothers from the 1930s and 40s, featuring the likes of Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, Edward G. Robinson, Don Ameche, Leslie Howard, Errol Flynn, Basil Rathbone, Henry Fonda, Clark Gable, some guy named Reagan, Ann Sheridan, Barbara Stanwyck, Norma Shearer, Bette Davis, Joan Blondell, Joan Crawford, Ann Dvorak, and lots more.

From the folks at the Film Archive.

Keiser Report: Year of Banking Death Penalty

Max and Stacy Herbert ring in the new year with some predictions for the new year, including some bad news for banksters.

The RT program notes:

In this episode, Max Keiser and Stacy Herbert discuss the two big themes for 2013: the execution of the too big to fail outlaw banks and the death of the Bretton Woods engineered fiat and faith debt based system as nations around the world ask for the return of their gold. They also talk to several Keiser Report guests about their predictions for 2013, including predictions from Rob Kirby on JP Morgan’s collapse, Mitch Feierstein on JP Morgan’s copper ETF, Ned Naylor-Leyland on the CFTC investigation into silver manipulation and the Yes Men’s Andy Bichlbaum on the Global Spring.

Henri returns: “The Worst Noël”

Henri, the feline embodiment of existential angst [previously], returns with his latest video, featuring his seasonal musings:

Despite his Francophone musing, Henri [otherwise known as Le Chat Noir, is actually a resident of Seattle, and crated this video for the Seattle Times when asked to explain his political philosophy:

Henri also has a book on the way, with this help of his pet human, Will Braden. For details, see here.

 

Watch out for those Icelandic maidens

A tourist discovered their playful side, to his own regret, after police slapped the cuffs on him after he paid attention to some advice he’d received from a pair a mischievous maidens over one glass too many:

The Reykjavík Grapevine reports:

According to the tourist, he had met some Icelandic girls in a bar who told him it was an Icelandic tradition to run naked on the grass of the Prime Minister’s office. They offered to hold his clothes as he performed the task. Instead, the girls ran off with his clothing, leaving him naked in public.

The tourist was wrapped in a blanket and taken to the police station, but as his wallet had been in his pants, he had no ID to prove who he was.

The story ends on a somewhat upbeat note, however, as when the tourist returned to his hotel, he found his clothes waiting for him at the front desk. The girls who had tricked him, though, had left.

Read the rest.

Headlines of the day: Presidential sex [un]appeal

From New Europe:

Public prefer porn to presidents

From France 24:

How not to have an affair like a French president

We’ll leave the last word to George Carlin, a man who outspokenly  preferred porn to politics:

Juice Rap News: Electile Dysfunction

The latest episode of Juice Rap News with Robert Foster takes on the presidential debates:

It’s nearing the end of 2012, and the bastion of world democracy (The United States of America) is displaying its free and open process of elections for the world to observe. As is customary every four years, the rigorous selection process has served up a number of philosopher kings and queens from which to choose. But why have so many choices when with a bit of effort you can whittle it down to two candidates and let the people pick from those? Especially when it makes for such scintillating debates. Join Juice Rap News stalwart host Robert Foster as he shares his dreams for the Presidential Debates… and then receives something of a rude awakening.

Quote of the day: Cue the stagehands

From the inimitable Frank Zappa:

The illusion of freedom will continue as long as it’s profitable to continue the illusion. At the point where the illusion becomes too expensive to maintain, they will just take down the scenery, they will pull back the curtains, they will move the tables and chairs out of the way and you will see the brick wall at the back of the theater.

H/T to Moussequetairre.

Our favorite Zappa line was a riposte to Joe Pyne, a very conservative Los Angeles TV and radio talk show host of the 1960s who had lost a leg from cancer and walked with a prosthesis.

We were living in Oceanside, California, in those days, and often listened to Pyne because we enjoyed the dialogue between Pyne and some of his guests.

One night he had Zappa on, and began with a zinger: “Oh, you have long hair. You must be a girl.”

Not missing a beat, Zappa fired back: “Oh, you have a wooden leg. You must be a table.”

We laughed so hard we cried.